Holding Two Truths: Navigating Conflicted Emotions After a Public Figure’s Death

The recent death of Charlie Kirk has left many people experiencing a wide range of emotions. Kirk, a prominent conservative commentator, was well-known for his outspoken views, particularly on issues related to guns, violence, and children. His words often minimized the risks associated with firearms and at times dismissed the impact of gun violence on families and communities. Now, in the wake of his death by gun violence, many are grappling with a profound sense of irony, conflict, and even discomfort in how to respond.

As a licensed therapist, I see this moment as an opportunity to name and normalize the complexity of these reactions.

When Empathy Meets Accountability

For many, the first instinct is to feel compassion for his family, especially his children, who are innocent in this tragedy. Their grief is undeniable and deserving of respect. At the same time, it’s natural to feel resistance toward expressing sympathy for Kirk himself, given the harm his rhetoric may have caused. This duality, empathy for the loved ones left behind, alongside anger or indifference toward the individual, is not uncommon when public figures die in ways that reflect their own controversial stances.

Naming the Discomfort

Many people are asking themselves: “Does this make me a bad person if I don’t feel sorry for him?” The answer is no. Holding someone accountable for their actions and impact does not negate your ability to have compassion for others affected by their death. Human beings are capable of holding two truths at once:

• I feel sorrow for the children who lost their father.

• I do not feel compelled to grieve for him because of the choices he made and the messages he spread.

Acknowledging this tension is part of honest emotional processing.

Why These Feelings Matter

When events like this occur, they force us to confront broader societal issues: gun violence, the consequences of inflammatory rhetoric, and the ways public figures shape cultural narratives. They also highlight our personal values—justice, empathy, accountability, and compassion. Reconciling these values in moments like this is not easy, but it’s important work.

Moving Forward with Intention

If you find yourself struggling with conflicted emotions around Kirk’s death, or any similar public event, consider these strategies:

• Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. You don’t owe anyone a prescribed emotional reaction.

• Differentiate between person and family. It’s possible to hold compassion for those grieving without excusing the harm of the person they loved.

• Engage in reflection. Ask yourself what this moment reveals about your own values and how you want to live them out.

• Channel your feelings into action. Whether that’s advocacy, community involvement, or simply meaningful conversations, action can be a constructive outlet for complex emotions.

Final Thoughts

Charlie Kirk’s death is both tragic and telling. It’s tragic for his family and children, who are left in mourning. It’s telling because it underscores the very dangers he so often dismissed. For those reconciling conflicted feelings, know that it’s okay to hold space for both compassion and accountability. In fact, doing so is part of what makes us deeply human.